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[righthemisphere]

You've reached Raleigh Becket, please leave a message.

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text; un:mako; early february

[arclightning]

Raleigh,

Did you and Chuck get back from the hotel alright? Are you both safe?

If you are, I wanted to invite you both over for dinner. Wu got hurt. He's fine now, but I think he's lonely and would appreciate the company. I'll cook.

Let me know.

-Mako

[righthemisphere]

Hey man, It's good to hear from you too. Last month was pretty wild but we're good.

I'm sorry to hear about Wu but glad he's okay now. What happened?

Dinner sounds good. When? What can we bring?

[arclightning]

It's a long story. We got pulled somehow into something that already happened in Deerington. The town was on fire. I couldn't get the flames away from him quick enough. He's okay, he got healed, but he's stuck inside for a while and I think he hates it.

So. Tonight?

[ What can he bring, Mako and Wu between them have a lot of food, but— ]

If you have wine, Wu likes wine. Soju would be ideal but I haven't actually found any here.

[righthemisphere]

[A fire... jesus. That wasn't what he was expecting but then again anything goes in this place. but if there is a fire, he guesses Mako is the one to call.]

It's lucky you were there.

Tonight works, I'll let Chuck know. Say 7?

We've got wine. I'll see what I can do about the soju.

[arclightning]

Would've been luckier if I'd been watching like I was supposed to.

[ They've already talked about it, and Wu has already claimed responsbility and Mako still feels like crap about it, is still sure he didn't do enough.

Hopefully, this helps. ]

7 works. Either of you have food preferences?

I already know about the beans.

[righthemisphere]

[Ffs he's never going to live this bean thing down. Damnit Chuck.]

I'm not wild about red meat if at all possible. Chuck eats everything.

You know the bean thing was a joke, right?

[arclightning]

Noted. I mostly don't cook with meat here anyway. Hard to cook something when you've never actually heard of the animal it came from, and meat's expensive.

[ Listen Mako will cook possumchicken all day long but he has no clear understanding of what a cow is, despite having looked it up many times. He's sus. ]

I don't know. It seemed very serious to me.

[righthemisphere]

Vegietarian is cool too :)

Yeah that's a thing you're going to have to learn about Chuck. If he can find an opportunity to make fun of me he'll take it. He is an enormous troll.

[arclightning]

You're going to have to tell me what troll means in this case because the only thing I'm pulling up is

[righthemisphere]

What are you sending me pictures of Chuck for?

1 / 2

[arclightning]

[ Mako frowns down at the text.

Scrolls back up in the conversation. No, he definitely didn't send a picture of Chuck, he sent a picture of the first thing that popped up when he searched "troll." ]

2 / 2

[arclightning]

I didn't send you a picture of Chuck.

I sent you a picture of a weird doll with bright red hair and creepy eyes.

[righthemisphere]

Yeah? That's clearly Chuck.

[arclightning]

[ No it—

Oh.

OH. This is a joke, one Mako still doesn't fully understand. He takes another few minutes to keep looking for the word troll, this time checking out a few definitions deeper until something clicks. ]

Yeah. This thing is full of them. He's all over the place.

[righthemisphere]

[Jesus fuck he is laughing so hard. He's never been so happy Chuck is out on patrol because he's howling like a lunatic and it's scared the dog oh god- fuck- wheeze it hurts!! Bahahaha!]

You've never noticed that before? Everywhere you look there he is. Lurking under bridges, demanding troll tolls, making you solve riddles. It's a nightmare!

[arclightning]

[ Mako, meanwhile, is just happy he finally got the joke. He hates not getting things, which is why he is just... reading an entire wikipedia article about trolls, now. Hence the time between his carefully-crafted replies.

Why do people like this nerd, again? ]

It's the riddles that get me. Can't have a whole conversation with him without at least three. I don't know how you do it.

[righthemisphere]

The trick is to ignore the riddle and give him a little tickle right in the gooch. Really get in there deep. He loves it.

[arclightning]

Somehow I think that will get me punched right in whatever my gooch is.

Do I want to know what a gooch is, on that note?

[righthemisphere]

You don't know about the Gooch?

And you don't know until you try. If you're good at it he'll grant you a wish.

[arclightning]

How am I supposed to try if I don't know what I'm aiming for? You have to set me up for success here.

[righthemisphere]

I'm surprised you haven't looked it up. Gooch is the home stretch between your nuts and backdoor :)

[arclightning]

I did look it up and I thought, apparently too nicely, that you must've been talking about something else. There is no way I'm tickling that on anyone.

Especially at dinner. That's probably rude.

[righthemisphere]

Lolol and here he was just expecting you to tell him to go fuck himself.

Nah, it's a traditional Australian greeting. He loves it, he'll bend right over.

[arclightning]

You get hyperbolic when you're lying.

[righthemisphere]

R u d e

That's what gave it away?