righthemisphere | IC CONTACT

If you've got time, I'd appreciate if you could swing by my place one of these days. Got some things to discuss.

[Well Merry Christmas to you too, Herc. He's sort of relieved to hear from you because it means you're not dead, but if you think Chuck kept the details of your fight to himself then you are sorely mistaken. It's out of his loyalty to your son and his fleeting respect for you that he hasn't gotten involved yet.

He leaves the message on read for a bit while he thinks.]

Yeah, I think we do.

Are you around now?

[ He's fully expecting Chuck gave Raleigh all the details, along with several expletives and potential embellishments, which is why Herc doesn't bother explaining where he's been or assuring Raleigh he's alive since their last correspondence. ]

Yeah. Come around whenever.

Prose because I'm on mobile and html can suck a dick.

Raleigh isn't exactly sure how this is going to go. He shoots a quick text off to Chuck who is out on patrol and wraps himself up in his coat and scarf. The weather is getting worse and worse so he decides to take the ATV, reminding himself to get a vehicle of his own sooner rather than later. Preferably something with a roof.

At least Herc is on the same side of town, and where Raleigh should probably stop and think about all this for a while, he doesn't. Which is typical for him, he just leaps.

This is.. well damn, it's pretty serious. And he's pissed. Herc should probably be reaching out to Chuck, not him.. but the Hansen's don't communicate well and Raleigh isn't an expert conversationalist by any means, but he is in the middle of the two other rangers. Sort of. So maybe he can help.

The ATV isn't quiet as he pulls up and parks outside Herc's cabin. The engine rumbles loudly and the absence of noise when Raleigh cuts it is almost louder in a way. He's acutely aware of the sound, these days. His boots crushing snow underfoot. His knuckles on the heavy wooden door.

The ATV is as good as any announcement of Raleigh's arrival, so Herc's already opening the door when the blond starts knocking.

"Come in," is about as much greeting as Raleigh gets, Herc jerking his head while his eyes scan the snowy landscape outside for any signs of 'life', loaded shotgun at his side. The door is shut and bolted behind Raleigh once he's inside, and then Herc sets the gun aside and leads them to the kitchen where he's got some water boiling for tea.

The inside of the cabin is still pretty messy, but Herc's been sweeping up the debris and making repairs so it's not as bad as it could be. Herc gestures towards the small kitchen table.

"Take a seat. Tea or coffee?"

"Tea," Raleigh answers and sits as he's directed. He wishes he could say he were comfortable but he isn't, looking anywhere but Herc- taking in the state of his place.

Chuck had come looking for his dad and said the place was bloody and trashed. Given everything that's happened this month it's amazing they've all managed to survive. But if anyone has the experience, it's Herc. A soldier long before he was a Jaeger jockey.

"Herbal if you have it. Caffeine wrecks me."

"Sure."

Chamomile it is, then.

Tea steeping in two mugs, Herc sets them down on the table before taking his seat. They're both uncomfortable in this situation for sure, but Herc's determined, so he's going to forge ahead regardless.

"I've always respected you as a pilot and as a man, Raleigh. So I'm asking you to be honest with me," Herc starts. No pleasantries, just right down to business. "What sort of relationship have you got with my son, and what are your intentions for the future?"

You- what?

Raleigh looks a little stunned. This is not what he was expecting to talk about.

Blond brows pin high on his forehead before they knit with conflict and confusion.

"Are you serious?"

"Deadly serious," Herc answers, voice grim. "The reason I called you here is gonna depend heavily on how you answer."

Raleigh studies the other man for a moment, trying to order his thoughts without immediately coming off like a jackass.

And yet part of him wants the validation, despite being pissed off on Chuck's behalf.

"My intention.." he starts, looking for the words.

"Is to treat him the way he deserves." It's a little sharp.

Raleigh taps his knuckles on the table, sizing up the man across from him.

"Nah.. nah, this isn't gonna work. After what you said to him I don't think you've got the room to give me the shovel talk. You can't just decide to be his dad when its convenient for you."

Instead of tensing up further or looking aggravated at that, Herc... relaxes. Some of the tension leaves his shoulders and he slumps back a touch in his seat, running a hand over his face, mindful of the nose that's still a bit sore.

"I didn't call you here for the shovel talk," Herc clarifies, adding with a snort, "Chuck can handle himself in that regard."

No, Herc's got something more important to get onto.

"I'm cutting myself out from his life," he explains, staring down at his tea, watching the colour gradually deepen. "He deserves better. I just wanted to make sure you'd look out for him."

It comes like a freight train to the chest, hard enough to send him reeling. You want him to swing on you, this is a good way to go about it.

"No, that's bullshit!" Raleigh snaps.

"That is- fucking bullshit, do you hear me? That is the last thing you should do. You know who bailed when shit got hard?! My dad! He bailed when I needed him most, you don't get to do that to him because of your.. whatever the fuck this pity party is. Chuck is your son, he needs you."

Is his voice raising? Sure as shit is. Seething with anger.

Raleigh can start shouting all he wants, Herc's heard worse.

"Chuck is my son, and I got him killed," Herc reminds him, his own voice staying low, gravelly but contained. "I had one job, and that was to make sure he lived to see the end of the war, and I failed. I sent him to die in the middle of the damn ocean. At the very least, I was supposed to die with him down there, and I couldn't even do that."

Sure, Chuck hurled those jabs at him, but Herc had been carrying that guilt around in him ever since he sent the Jaegers off.

"He knows that, and I know that. I ruined his life, I don't need to ruin this... 'afterlife' he's got, here, too."

Raleigh disagrees so strongly he could flip the damn table. He won't but it's tempting.

"Uh-uh, no. That's not what's going to happen. This isn't about you. We all have our regrets about the war, look who you're talking to. But this is a second chance in a place where dying isn't final. I've been in his head, I've seen his memories. You owe it to him to try now more than ever."

His head is spinning. He sees the guilt. He knows the look, he's been carrying it inside himself for five very, very long years.

"I would give anything to see my brother again. Anything for him to show up one day. You have a chance. The chance. And when you have a chance you take it, isn't that right?! Aren't those your words?!"

"And all those chances I took got my entire family slaughtered, because of my decisions," Herc shoots back. "All the chances I've taken here have only hurt him more. I owe it to him to give him a chance at being happy."

And it's become very clear that Herc is poison for Chuck. An unpleasant reminder of a fucked up family and a father who abandoned his son to a grisly fate, just like his mother.

"Yeah," with disbelief. "You do. And pushing him away isn't gonna do that, all he wants- all he has ever wanted is to be good enough for you."

Jesus Christ you're both as bad as each other.

"Maybe before, yeah, but now? He's made it clear I'm not right for him."

I reckon it's time I had a proper copilot, a real teammate who gives a damn about me-

Herc shakes his head and finally takes a sip of his tea. "I'm out. You're in. He trusts you more than he did me, now, and you won't hurt him the way I did."

Raleigh fixes Herc a look.

"You told him he's the worst in the world at the only thing he thinks he's ever been good at, what were you expecting him to say."

A beat. A sigh.

"Listen, he is devastated. You can fix this but you have to show up, Herc. Do better. This isn't a one in, one out thing, we're a group. If you give a shit, which you seem to, then show it."

"I said that shit after he reminded me how much I screwed him up," Herc corrects. "He was that upset just after me going missing for a few days. That's not gonna get easier in Deerington. At some point, he might have to kill me with his own hands to survive. You think me trying to be a better dad is going to make that easier?"

"uh, yeah I do, actually." That's a helluva hypothetical but anything is possible here.

"We're a team. The three of us. We have to stay together."

Never ask about the deer statue on Herc's back porch, Raleigh, if you don't want to know where that hypothetical came from.

"No, we aren't. You and Chuck are. I'm dead weight and more liable to be a threat or weakness than an asset, especially where Chuck's concerned."

A sharp exhale, and then, quietly, "He blames me for letting him go to the Breach with Stacker. I failed him when it mattered most, and I've been failing him nonstop since he showed up here. The longer I stay in his life, the more I'm going to hurt him. We can't stay together as a team with that."

The worst part is that Raleigh can understand where Herc is coming from. He knows what it means to be a liability. What it means to throw protocol out the window in the heat of battle only to survive and have to carry the consequences like a cross for the rest of his life. He gets it. But he can't accept it. Not here. Not like this.

"Things happen.. out there. In the water. You did what you thought you had to," he starts slowly, trying his damnedest to keep his voice level but clear so he isn't misunderstood. A leaf out of Stacker's book for once, wouldn't he be proud.

"I know that's what you think you're doing here but let me be absolutely clear-" he leans forward, resting one forearm against the table, tea untouched. The movement slides his dogtags down from where they'd hitched up on the side of his collar and an eagle eye would see the names on the two tags don't match anymore.

"-the only way you are hurting Chuck is by what you're doing now. You are failing him by leaving him alone. All this other stuff? He gets it. He knows you. Better than anyone. And he will forgive you. But you can't do this. I'm sorry, Herc, but you can't run. Not from him."

There's not much Herc can say to that. It's all still too fresh, and short of killing himself, he can't put enough distance between Chuck and himself in Deerington.

He also recognises that Raleigh's trying to do right by Chuck, to repair the still burning bridge, which is probably the only reason why Herc's not throwing him out for refusing to see reason. So instead, Herc sighs, shaking his head as he sips his tea wordlessly, staring out the window at the snowy, empty paddock outside.

You might need some cream to put on your slapped ass later. Hurts, doesn't it. Especially when Raleigh is right and you know it.

He leaves the silence for a moment, studying Herc as he looks away. How tired he seems. How stressed. Raleigh takes a lot of his cues from the physical, the things not said rather than the words themselves, and there are volumes in Herc's eyes and the weight on his shoulders.

Finally Raleigh takes a sip of his tea. It's nice. Soft and floral in a sharp contrast to the setting. Maybe it's an assumption but there comes a creeping feeling that something else is going on that would spur Herc to such dramatic action. To say the things he said. To push Chuck away with such venom and then double down with whatever the hell conversation they're having right now.

Raleigh takes a breath.

"All due respect, sir, as someone who's tried running I can tell you it doesn't work. Deerington is too small and I know deep down you don't want this."

Herc loves his son, he knows he does. And he smells bullshit.

"I also know you're not telling me the whole story. What happened that has you so spooked. Can't just be the walkers."

Herc doesn't answer at first, eyes locked on the snowy landscape outside, but his hands tighten around the mug he's nursing between them. The chill's creeping into the cabin. He should probably try fixing that window to keep the cold out...

Arm aching, he finishes his tea and rises from the table, taking the empty mug to the sink to wash up.

"I've said my piece. You should get going before it gets dark out."

IC CONTACT

text; un: hh - late December

Text; UN R.BECKET

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