righthemisphere | IC CONTACT

"And all those chances I took got my entire family slaughtered, because of my decisions," Herc shoots back. "All the chances I've taken here have only hurt him more. I owe it to him to give him a chance at being happy."

And it's become very clear that Herc is poison for Chuck. An unpleasant reminder of a fucked up family and a father who abandoned his son to a grisly fate, just like his mother.

"Yeah," with disbelief. "You do. And pushing him away isn't gonna do that, all he wants- all he has ever wanted is to be good enough for you."

Jesus Christ you're both as bad as each other.

"Maybe before, yeah, but now? He's made it clear I'm not right for him."

I reckon it's time I had a proper copilot, a real teammate who gives a damn about me-

Herc shakes his head and finally takes a sip of his tea. "I'm out. You're in. He trusts you more than he did me, now, and you won't hurt him the way I did."

Raleigh fixes Herc a look.

"You told him he's the worst in the world at the only thing he thinks he's ever been good at, what were you expecting him to say."

A beat. A sigh.

"Listen, he is devastated. You can fix this but you have to show up, Herc. Do better. This isn't a one in, one out thing, we're a group. If you give a shit, which you seem to, then show it."

"I said that shit after he reminded me how much I screwed him up," Herc corrects. "He was that upset just after me going missing for a few days. That's not gonna get easier in Deerington. At some point, he might have to kill me with his own hands to survive. You think me trying to be a better dad is going to make that easier?"

"uh, yeah I do, actually." That's a helluva hypothetical but anything is possible here.

"We're a team. The three of us. We have to stay together."

Never ask about the deer statue on Herc's back porch, Raleigh, if you don't want to know where that hypothetical came from.

"No, we aren't. You and Chuck are. I'm dead weight and more liable to be a threat or weakness than an asset, especially where Chuck's concerned."

A sharp exhale, and then, quietly, "He blames me for letting him go to the Breach with Stacker. I failed him when it mattered most, and I've been failing him nonstop since he showed up here. The longer I stay in his life, the more I'm going to hurt him. We can't stay together as a team with that."

The worst part is that Raleigh can understand where Herc is coming from. He knows what it means to be a liability. What it means to throw protocol out the window in the heat of battle only to survive and have to carry the consequences like a cross for the rest of his life. He gets it. But he can't accept it. Not here. Not like this.

"Things happen.. out there. In the water. You did what you thought you had to," he starts slowly, trying his damnedest to keep his voice level but clear so he isn't misunderstood. A leaf out of Stacker's book for once, wouldn't he be proud.

"I know that's what you think you're doing here but let me be absolutely clear-" he leans forward, resting one forearm against the table, tea untouched. The movement slides his dogtags down from where they'd hitched up on the side of his collar and an eagle eye would see the names on the two tags don't match anymore.

"-the only way you are hurting Chuck is by what you're doing now. You are failing him by leaving him alone. All this other stuff? He gets it. He knows you. Better than anyone. And he will forgive you. But you can't do this. I'm sorry, Herc, but you can't run. Not from him."

There's not much Herc can say to that. It's all still too fresh, and short of killing himself, he can't put enough distance between Chuck and himself in Deerington.

He also recognises that Raleigh's trying to do right by Chuck, to repair the still burning bridge, which is probably the only reason why Herc's not throwing him out for refusing to see reason. So instead, Herc sighs, shaking his head as he sips his tea wordlessly, staring out the window at the snowy, empty paddock outside.

You might need some cream to put on your slapped ass later. Hurts, doesn't it. Especially when Raleigh is right and you know it.

He leaves the silence for a moment, studying Herc as he looks away. How tired he seems. How stressed. Raleigh takes a lot of his cues from the physical, the things not said rather than the words themselves, and there are volumes in Herc's eyes and the weight on his shoulders.

Finally Raleigh takes a sip of his tea. It's nice. Soft and floral in a sharp contrast to the setting. Maybe it's an assumption but there comes a creeping feeling that something else is going on that would spur Herc to such dramatic action. To say the things he said. To push Chuck away with such venom and then double down with whatever the hell conversation they're having right now.

Raleigh takes a breath.

"All due respect, sir, as someone who's tried running I can tell you it doesn't work. Deerington is too small and I know deep down you don't want this."

Herc loves his son, he knows he does. And he smells bullshit.

"I also know you're not telling me the whole story. What happened that has you so spooked. Can't just be the walkers."

Herc doesn't answer at first, eyes locked on the snowy landscape outside, but his hands tighten around the mug he's nursing between them. The chill's creeping into the cabin. He should probably try fixing that window to keep the cold out...

Arm aching, he finishes his tea and rises from the table, taking the empty mug to the sink to wash up.

"I've said my piece. You should get going before it gets dark out."

Is that the chill of winter or the chill between them creeping in.

So that's it then, huh. That's all you've got to say.

Raleigh gives Herc a look through the whole movement but doesn't get up, himself. When the other Ranger is finished washing his mug Raleigh is still there. Watching. Straight faced. Your ploy hasn't worked and your house isn't big enough to run away from him. He knows what you're doing and he isn't going to accept the subtext. Sorry, not that sorry.

"All due respect sir?" Finally, once the water is off and he knows Herc can hear him with perfect clarity.

"You can go fuck yourself."

It rings of a conversation they've had before. Over spaghetti and mashed potatoes in the mess hall, talking about whether Chuck deserved a kick in the arse. Feels like a whole other lifetime now. How bizarre that now it's Herc who deserves the boot up his ass. You two really are just so similar that it's staggering.

"There's danger everywhere. If you need help just ask. Cutting everyone out isn't going to make anything better. So answer my question. What happened."

There's a steeliness to Herc's eyes as he stares right back at Raleigh, drying his hands on a kitchen towel.

"You're not my superior officer, you're not my father and you sure as hell aren't my wife," he answers flatly. "I don't answer to you. I asked you here because I respect you as a Ranger and I know you're close to my son. Don't push it."

The cloth gets tossed aside. "Now, with 'all due respect', get out of my house." He's got a date with a bottle tonight that he'd much rather get to sooner than later.

Yeeeah because that's the way to fix this.

Raleigh gives an exasperated look, rolling his shoulders like he's going to get up but he doesn't. You know all those times Stacker bitched about Raleigh being an insubordinate asshole? Welcome to the show.

"Nah. That's not gonna work for me. You called me here because you're trying to make yourself feel better for bailing when Chuck needs you and I'm not okay with being your crashpad. Screw rank, you're my friend. What's going on??"

Edited 2021-01-24 22:03 (UTC)

"Don't make me get the shotgun," Herc warns, though whether he's being serious about the threat remains to be seen.

He's just so damn tired of... everything. He's tired of fucking up, he's tired of screwing up his kid further and further and failing him again and again and again.

"Get out."

Wow.

You know he really wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt but Chuck was right. That's.. depressing.

Raleigh tongues his teeth as he digests that, shoulders and jaw tight as his temper spirals around beneath his skin.

He could yell. He could break Herc's nose like Chuck told him to.

But he doesn't. He gets up. And while he doesn't think Herc would actually shoot him over this the man is clearly not in his right mind and he doesn't wanna find out for sure.

Turning his back, Raleigh goes to the door, a plume of cold air invading the space as he holds it open. Fuck you, you can freeze. He'll say one last thing over his shoulder before he goes, leaving the door open behind him.

"You know Herc? I never thought I'd say this.. you're a coward. Can't believe it."

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