righthemisphere | Deer Country IC Inbox

“I mean he said there was no longer a reason To stay at the house and he fluttered off. He left me.”

He exhales long and slow, his chest aching from the cough and something else entirely.

He. Still isn't sure in what capacity Dean means.

"Were you.." he itches the tip of his nose.

"Together(??) long?"

He sighs. Hes high, who cares. Raleigh loves with some Australian bear.

“Long enough for it to matter, for it to hurt.”

A soft hum. That's awful.

Raleigh still isn't sure if they're talking about the same thing but being left behind always hurts no matter what.

He decides to take a gamble.

"I'm sorry things didn't work out between you.. but he's wrong. If he thinks he's too good for you."

“Oh no, he’s definitely right. I’m a train wreck and he's…an Angel crammed into a human vessel. He’s way too good for me.”

He takes a swig of his beer.

“He just.. didn’t have to leave it like this.”

What? He almost says. No. You're.. loyal. And funny and strong. It's his loss.

But he isn't sure if Dean would want to hear that.

Raleigh can't imagine what the dynamic between a human and an angel might be. How would that even work, really. It's such a big difference in so many ways. Even if he's having a hard time thinking of that guy he saw as an angel. He hasn't seen Castiel otherwise. He doesn't know.

"So you fixed the timeline and he bounced. That's an ungrateful dick move."

"Less of a fix, I guess. We were an alternate one, created to prove a point. Makes a guy feel awesome." He takes another swig of beer, though the bottle is nearly empty.

"Cas and I just shifted back to the original one, I guess. Our spell got messed up, and here we are. He's..."

Dean struggles to find the words, because he's angry at Cas yes, he's hurt, but he doesn't hate him. How could he?

"He's an angel. He's just different, now. There's this wall up between us."

"Oh.."

He tries not to kneejerk something even more judgmental (again) to piss all over this guy who Dean is so hurt by. If it's complicated then it's complicated.

He can respect that. Try at least.

Raleigh is quiet for a moment as he thinks, brain softened and swirley released from topical anxiety.

"Sorry," he says. Delayed response.

"That was catty." It's not like him, really. Maybe an influence from Chuck. Maybe from being in this world for so long.

He reaches for the joint to take another long pull and hold it before he passes it back over, relaxing (slumping) in his chair, squeezing his eyes closed.

"Nah...it's okay. I've called him a dick before. It's nothing new."

Raleigh takes it back, watching the cherry at the end smolder away.

Fuck he's high. but let him get this straight. Sam is a dick. Cas is a dick. Dean, himself, is kind of a dick and Raleigh can't make a judgment on the little one but he's a Sam too so maybe also a dick.

"Don't take this the wrong way? But I think you might need to get some better friends, man."

"God...yeah...maybe."

He groans, rubbing at his eyes and stretching in the chair, relaxed more now than he's been in a while. The weed, likely, but not being at Raleigh's throat is nice, too. He doesn't regret what he did, he'd do it again, but at this juncture, holding the grudge is stupid.

There's too much else going on in Dean's life to hang onto that rage, and besides that's...not really him anymore, is it? He's not nearly as angry, not nearly as obsessed, just...tired. Resigned. Home isn't where he wants to be because here, at least he has his brothers - fourteen years old and soulless notwithstanding. Cas may want to go home and fix heaven, but Dean doesn't want to. Lisa's great, but she isn't Sam.

"Never really had many friends."

"No," Raleigh murmurs softly. It's a pleasant day. A red, autumn afternoon with crisp air and magic all around. Three of his chickens are clucking across the way, scratching for bugs or gossiping or whatever it is chickens do for fun.

He envies them in a way. Life must be so blissfully ignorant and simple. But actually? He's got it pretty good for once. How the hell that happened is beyond him but he sure is grateful.

"No, me either," voice slow and purring as he works his words out. He doesn't do this much so a little goes a long way.

"We moved around too much when I was a kid and then our world went to war with monsters so there wasn't much time."

It was just him and Yancy, one of many parallels he knows they share. But he won't talk about his brother too much if Dean is fighting with his. Why rub salt in the wound.

It's a quaint atmosphere; Dean can appreciate the aesthetics. His cabin is full of volatility right now, and frankly, he doesn't really want to be there. The bed is empty and cold, Sammy can tell something is up and Sam is an asshole.

He hasn't heard from Wanda in a while, but he guesses that's on him. He hasn't exactly reached out either, but he hasn't wanted to, what with everything going on.

It's hard to explain, so he'd rather just...not.

"Sounds like how we grew up. Always a different hotel, a different evil sonuvabitch to hunt. An endless...cycle of obsessed bullshit."

Raleigh is nosey but it's just curiousity. He doesn't feel like Dean owes him the intimate details so if hediesnt want to share then that's on him. Keep your secrets, Gandalf.

"Sounds like bullshit," he agrees with a slow nod and sips his beer.

"Never asked for it, that's for sure."

"It is. Was." Whatever the case may be, it's over, he guesses, though he has a whole new set of problems here.

It's neverending, with them. Isn't that fun.

"No. We didn't either. Life's a real bitch, isn't it?"

He doesn't* wow.

More of the same, isn't that what you wanted, Dean? Isn't this what you wanted?

Raleigh snorts.

"Isn't it just."

It's not funny but that's what trips him into the giggles. Are you proud of yourself? It's embarrassing and so he hides his face but it just makes him laugh harder- peppered with strained apologies and desperate attempts to get himsrlf back under control

Yeah, exactly what he wanted. He isn't sure why he expected any different. Being home with Lisa...no Sam, no Cas.

Pretty much what he's got going on now, just no Lisa.

"Sure is," he says, glancing over at Raleigh and raising a brow before he starts to laugh too, because that's what you do when someone else gets the giggles and you've been smoking pot together. You laugh, so you don't cry.

That's the only choice. There won't be any crying out here that Raleigh can see. Not yet at least.

Give him a good five minutes of trying to stop and then relapsing before he can finally breathe again. Hand to his heard, shaking his head no.

"I'm sorry, it's not funny. It's not funny, it's not."

"I dunno. It's a little funny."

Because...yeah. All you can do is chuckle and laugh, and Dean laughs with him, shaking his head as he leans back in his chair, relaxing against the wood.

"Got anymore beer? I've got whiskey at mine if you want me to run get it."

"Uhhh yeah, no I've got beer," he says and drags himself up. Uuuupsie doodle we go.

"I've got beer and some.. man I don't even know what it is but it's hard and ugly."

He laughs, breathless, a little wild. When's the last time he laughed?

"I think that's the general consensus for alcohol around here. Hard and ugly. Long as it does the job, I think."

"Well, you know me. I like a little hard and ugly," Raleigh jokes with a wink- laughing to himself as he goes to retrieve the bottle, two glasses and some snacks in the longest sentence ever.

It's peaceful out this way. For now. Raleigh's made a deal with that guy he and Dean both apparently offered to help. Construction work for monstwr wards and so far so good.

Snort.

"Don't we all?"

He'll wait here with the joint, pass it off when Raleigh comes back in favor of a swig of beer and some nibbles. At least this one tiny thing has been easy, as opposed to another friggin' mess. He hadn't been sure how this would go.

It isn't what he expected, but he's grateful.

Raleigh takes the joint when he comes back and offers the selection he's cobbled together. Bread, cheese, chutney, some kind of fried mushroom chip that is actually way better than it sounds and very moreish. All to be consumed with more beer and a jar of their best moonshine.

"Hey," Raleigh says out of nowhere after some time, looking for a bearing on their situation.

"Ive got a pile of junk near the barn. Do you wanna go smash it in a bit?"

Interestingly, this strange combo Dean is presented tastes a lot better than it looks. He's never been overly wild about mushrooms (they're slimy, okay) but he's had to get used to them here in Trench and he's figured out ways to cook them that are palatable to everyone in the house.

Not that anyone appreciates it, he's coming to realize. Sammy is pissed at him, Sam is...soulless and pretty unappreciative, and Cas is..

Gone.

"Huh?" He looks up, torn from his thoughts, shaking his head to clear it. "Smash-- hell yeah, man."

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